_visit_
aarthiabsolute fact
absolut fake
ah neh
birentha
crunch
gareth
mo
pujus
roach
secret
shar
tas
_define me_
look into my world.watch my life unfold.
see it as i will.
the story of a girl.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
MA1101E: How to Spot a "Maama" ; 23:13
Today i braved the serangoon road deepavali crowd and went in search of bangles and earrings to match my saree and i must say it was an insightful experiance. For the novice who is blissfully ignorant of the "anjadi" and "mangamma" breed of homo sapiens, serangoon road in the week leading up to deepavali would be an excellent location to start your education. Today i will give a lesson on "how to spot the anjadi/mangamma" hence forth refered to as "Maamas".
How to Spot a "Maama"
Module Code: MA1101E (4 modular credits):
1. Look out for walking fashion disasters
- clashing colours in the same outfit
- animal print anywhere in the outfit
- out dated bell bottoms
- overly tight fitting shirts
- fire and dragon print anything
- faux fur purses or bags or whatever on the chicks
2. Observe the railings lining any part of serangoon, there are usually some "maamas" perched on them like crows stalking their prey (prey refering to random indian chicks walking past)
3. Listen out for bad out of tune singing, accompanied by lots of howling and banging sounds, those are the marks of a "maama" convention where they howl and scream like cats being slaughtered
Now that we have discussed the main distinguishing features of a "maama", it would, at this juncture, be prudent to note that under no circumstance should one look at a specimen of the "maama" species for more than 5 seconds. Failure to observe this unspoken rule would result in the insulted "maama" rushing to pick a fight with you (if its a guy), or rushing to get her boyfriend to pick a fight with you (if its a girl). "Maamas" live in a deluded fantasy world where they believe that they are royalty and not the be stared at, and although we know that it is far from the truth, we will humour them to save serangoon from any more bloodbaths.
Also do not even dream of passing any comment about a "maama" loud enough so that they can hear it. If you do feel the extreme desire to pass a comment and you suffer from "word vomit syndrome", please ensure that your comment is given in a sufficiently high standard of english and is as grammatically correct as possible. Chances are, most "maamas" you encounter are probably suffering from brain damage, low IQ and a low processing speed as a result of the frequency of them drinking, smoking and getting into fights.
With this i conclude my lesson on the "maamas". Hopefully, you have learnt how to spot a "maama" and how to deal with one effectively. In the event that you do get confronted by some, do a quick mental once over and guage if you can run faster then them. If u think you can, then RUN! If you dont think you can, or there are too many of them, make a quick phonecall to Singapore Indian Casket and make your reservations.
I heard Rajoo Casket is equally good.
Good luck!
=)
MA1101E: How to Spot a "Maama" ; 23:13
Today i braved the serangoon road deepavali crowd and went in search of bangles and earrings to match my saree and i must say it was an insightful experiance. For the novice who is blissfully ignorant of the "anjadi" and "mangamma" breed of homo sapiens, serangoon road in the week leading up to deepavali would be an excellent location to start your education. Today i will give a lesson on "how to spot the anjadi/mangamma" hence forth refered to as "Maamas".
How to Spot a "Maama"
Module Code: MA1101E (4 modular credits):
1. Look out for walking fashion disasters
- clashing colours in the same outfit
- animal print anywhere in the outfit
- out dated bell bottoms
- overly tight fitting shirts
- fire and dragon print anything
- faux fur purses or bags or whatever on the chicks
2. Observe the railings lining any part of serangoon, there are usually some "maamas" perched on them like crows stalking their prey (prey refering to random indian chicks walking past)
3. Listen out for bad out of tune singing, accompanied by lots of howling and banging sounds, those are the marks of a "maama" convention where they howl and scream like cats being slaughtered
Now that we have discussed the main distinguishing features of a "maama", it would, at this juncture, be prudent to note that under no circumstance should one look at a specimen of the "maama" species for more than 5 seconds. Failure to observe this unspoken rule would result in the insulted "maama" rushing to pick a fight with you (if its a guy), or rushing to get her boyfriend to pick a fight with you (if its a girl). "Maamas" live in a deluded fantasy world where they believe that they are royalty and not the be stared at, and although we know that it is far from the truth, we will humour them to save serangoon from any more bloodbaths.
Also do not even dream of passing any comment about a "maama" loud enough so that they can hear it. If you do feel the extreme desire to pass a comment and you suffer from "word vomit syndrome", please ensure that your comment is given in a sufficiently high standard of english and is as grammatically correct as possible. Chances are, most "maamas" you encounter are probably suffering from brain damage, low IQ and a low processing speed as a result of the frequency of them drinking, smoking and getting into fights.
With this i conclude my lesson on the "maamas". Hopefully, you have learnt how to spot a "maama" and how to deal with one effectively. In the event that you do get confronted by some, do a quick mental once over and guage if you can run faster then them. If u think you can, then RUN! If you dont think you can, or there are too many of them, make a quick phonecall to Singapore Indian Casket and make your reservations.
I heard Rajoo Casket is equally good.
Good luck!
=)