so. im back. after a long hiatus. oweing to the fact that my laptop decided to take a diving course in rain water and design being an absolute pain and dhool consuming all my remaining energy. but now i'm back and all's well in the world.

or not.

evidently this is gonna be an angsty post. and too bad if you dont like it. cause its my god given right to be angsty and pissed. so deal with it.

now getting to the point of this post. in the recent few weeks when i have been MIA there have been a large number of non-school and non-dhool related developments which i find to be very enlightening. ive realised that people are not who you think they are. i know this sounds cliched but its true. and i never realised how true it was till recently. its amazing the things people will do and say and then deny. and its amazing how they twist stories around. and most amazing of all is they way they are so convinced by the innocence and chastity of their friends that they'll never believe anything anyone tells them so long as it opposes thier preconcieved notions.

ha.

if only these fools knew. and yes. you are fools.

blind fools.

the people they think are so devoted and innocent are actually lying cheating creatures. just because they never make the first move doesnt mean they dont reciprocate. and just because they dont reveal certain details it doesnt make them innocent. just because the person telling the story may not be respected doesnt mean that your friend is the victim. and it definately doesnt mean that though the interpretaion may be misplaced the action was any less real.

so you fools think your friends are angels. well i think my friends are angels too.

but if there's a difference between you and me. its that i accept that my angels do make mistakes.

i admit that my angels fall for the wrong men. i admit that my angels sometimes lie. i admit that my angels do things they're not proud off.

but my angels will own up to it. unlike yours.

truth be told. you have no angels. only demons who hide behind masks. masks that hide who they really are. hiding behind the shadow of an imaginary persona. concealing the truth behind a beautifully woven pack of lies. you think they tell you the truth. you think you know all thats true and good about them. you think you know the worst of their mistakes and their lies. but i know better. i know truths about your "angels" that would make your hair curl. just because im no angel doesnt make my stories any less real then theirs. just because ive made mistakes and i act in ways that im not proud off doesnt mean you can take advantage of me. it doesnt mean that my truths hold any less water than your beliefs.

maybe if you took the time to really see me instead of judge me. you'd see the real me. and maybe when you do see the real me you'll finally be open to changing your myopic perspective of those supposed angels you call friends. maybe the brotherhood is united by blood and life. but that doesnt make me a bitch and a liar. and it definately doesnt make you saints and me a sinner.

lying to your friends about things you say and do. twisting the truth to suit it to you. changing the stories and omiting details to paint a better picture of you. it might work now. you might have them fooled. but how long can u keep up this charade? how long can you bury the truth? how many stories and how many lies? how long can you keep being superficial?

more importantly. how long will they believe you?


one day.

the mask will slip. the fantasy will fade. the wall of lies will crumble. and the truth will break the dams of deceit which you have built.

and on that day. you'll be sorry.

on that day. you'll wish you'd never lied.

because on that day.

you'll be alone.



but i'll still have my angels.