when visha is deprived of her laptop. and exposed to excessive amounts of stress. and forced to complete mind blowing amounts of work. and has to tolerate irritating specimens of the human race. and is denied her one effective form of relaxation.
visha gets very upset.
and when visha is upset. visha is easily annoyed.
and visha is annoyed by an astonishing number of things.
so just in case you have the misfortune of crossing paths with visha in the near future. these are the few things you should take into account:
1. body odour will not be tolerated. you will most likely be sprayed with some form of deodorizing agent.
2. i am a bitch. i will diss who i want to. i will cuss when i want to. i will throw tantrums. i will whine. i will do many other unacceptable things. and you will not question me.
3. bad fashion sense will not be forgiven. i WILL comment loudly on uncoordinated outfits. and ridiculous items of clothing. and gaudy accessories.
4. keep your aesthetically unappealing things hidden. i dont want to see it if it's ugly. i dont care if you think its cute. or adorable.
5. do not tell me how bad my dark rings are. i KNOW i look like a panda. and your name is not "mirror mirror on the wall."
6. unruly children will be tripped. or "accidentally" slapped. or kicked. and their parents will be verbally abused for producing hell spawn. keep your children far away from me.
7. courtesy is much appreciated. if you step on my foot - apologise. if you elbow me - apologise. if you take my eye out with your file - apologise. or God be with you.
8. if i look like i havent slept in days i probably havent. DO NOT ask me about it. if not i will ensure you sleep for eternity.
9. if you have nothing constructive to say. or have doubts about the nature of your intended statement. dont say anything. you will probably be safer and subject to less bodily harm.
10. do not assault my ears with bad music. i will take offense. and i will probably destroy the source of said bad music.
11. i do not want to hear about your exams. or your tests. or your assignments. or your CCA commitments. be happy i remember your name.
12. peace offerings do exist. coffee. tea. fags. extra points if you know which type of coffee and what brand of fags.
13. do not comment on my eating habits. drinking habits. or preferred form of lung exercise. unless you are suicidal.
14. falling asleep. talking about sleep. discussing sleep disorders. anything remotely associated with the word SLEEP is expressly forbidden.
15. responding to smses, msn messages, emails and phone calls are my prerogative. do not hound me. i will set rabid dogs on you.
16. if you know what is good for you, you WILL NOT mention "Dhool" "Vidiyal" "Vasantham Central" "Megastar" "prize money" "vouchers" "airline tickets" or any related topic. you risk an outburst of epic proportions.
17. information about the progress of your design is NOT welcome. i do not want to know if your floors do not connect. or if you have too many columns. or if you have no 3-D detail section. I DO NOT CARE.
18. do not play games with me. ANY kind of games. i am not in a playful mood.
19. if you need a favour from me. if you need me to help you. if you need me to do something for you. you are not welcome in my universe anymore.
20. humor is not appreciated. i do not think your jokes are funny. i do not think you are funny. and i am definitely not funny.
annoyed visha is painfully unforgiving. and unsympathetic. and hysterical.
so please. if your name is not saji, shar, priya, navan, crunch or mum. if you are not capable of providing my preferred form of relaxation. if you value your life. and do not want to see visha transformed into a homicidal maniac.
do not antagonize her till 27th April.